Sunday, January 9, 2011

Church Follies

Dan and I are church going folk. I usually look forward to the three hours a week when I can go and rethink my life. Lately, though, things have been a little challenging, to say the least. Having a child who A-never holds still and B- runs like a gazelle makes for difficult worship. Dan and I just kinda rotate following him around in the halls while the other one tries to sit in and get some churching done.

Today was a particularly bad day at the ol' meeting house. We made a pact when we had Eli that we would do all we could to stay to the closing prayer in our last meeting so we would be motivated to stick it out. Today that did not work. About ten seconds into sacrament meeting Eli made a mad dash for the pulpit. After chasing him down the isle twice, I handed him off to Dan who took him out to the hall. About five minutes after that Dan opened the door to the chapel and motioned for me to grabbed the diaper bag and come. That's never a good sign.

I went to meet him out in the hall and Dan pointed to a large blast zone of puke. Eli had expurgated his lunch all over the hall of the church, in such a way as I have never seen him do before.

Dan knows I am not a puke person. There are many things I can deal with, puke is not one of them. So I handed Dan the diaper bag and I went to chase Eli down the hall. As I was extracting him from a hallway garbage, an older woman walked passed and said "He has ADHD. I had six of them like that. Good luck!" and cheerfully waddled off. I lost it. I had tears running down my cheeks when Dan came back from his puke cleaning. My blessed husband took Eli into a nearby classroom, closed the door, and I sat in the foyer for the rest of the meeting and listened to the speakers.

Needless to say I am home now, Dan is still at church, and Eli is cleaned up and eating a little lunch. May next week be better.


  1. Um, Just so you know, he does NOT have ADHD. He's just a fun little one-year-old! ;) O has the same issues, expect for the puking part. And there is hope, at 18 months! O just started nursery and life is SO good now. Except that nursery doesn't help with sacrament meeting... There are sundays I don't even want to leave the house knowing what is waiting for me at church.

    Just hang in there, you're an awesome mom and this phase will pass! YAY!

  2. Robynn, I'm sure that this woman knows what she's talking about. All mom's of six are honorary MD's and PhD's, right? Rob...she's full of sheet. Next time you see her kick her in the vag for me.

  3. That reminds me of the good ol' days. I remember when one of our children had been kicked out of primary (yet again) i was walking the halls and a kindly, elderly gentleman commented "oh, they grow up so fast." at which point, I not so kindly said to him "not fast enough!"