Yesterday evening Dan and I (plus small family) rolled into our driveway after a week in Denver spending some fun time with the Garfield group. We had a great visit but were looking forward to getting back home and, above all else, sleeping in our own bed.
The trip home was traumatic, to maybe be slightly dramatic. Eli was sick of being in the car after about an hour but refused to take a nap. All he wanted to do was watch cartoons on Youtube on my phone but there are surprisingly few internets out in the middle of nowhere. Explaining this to Eli just made him angrier and louder. By about Rock Springs Dan and I were both ready to jump out the window. I put on headphones at one point and tried to block out the yelling.
Because Eli was so irate Sammy had a hard time sleeping too. He soon joined in the noise and there was little Dan and I could do but look at each other occasionally, laugh really hard, and then go back to quietly crying to ourselves.
The problem with situations like this, ones where there is no way to really get the kids to calm down, is that my Patience-O-Meter starts to drop and then pretty soon I have had It. You know...It? I hate when I loose my patience with Eli. It makes me feel awful terrible. I will go weeks and feel like Saint Roby the enlightened and then WHAM...stick me in a car with him yelling at me for 8 hours and I just want to run screaming off into the horizon.
Then this morning in preparation for church I watched this video. I love these Mormon Moments. As I listened to President Monson talk about what it important and what is not...I was reminded again that being a mom is my full time job and if I can't find joy on some level being with my kids even when they are screaming in my face then I don't deserve this incredible task.
Eli is 2. That is all there is to it. Sammy is 6 months. That is all there is to that. Someday my little boys will be grown up and will no longer need me like they do right now. I need to just slow down and not wish a moment of this away. Sure I'd love to spend summers traveling like I used to and I would LOVE to be able to go anywhere at the drop of a hat but that is not as rewarding or even as exciting as my life right now.
Does it seem like this blog is turning into more of a personal journal lately? Sorry about that. I'm just super tired today and trying, honestly, to get up the energy to take Eli to church...a happening that will surely take a good deal of patience and love on my part. But we do the important things so we can reap the rewards later...right?