Well...since I have absolutely nothing else interesting going on in my life I thought I'd give a little update on this whole baby making mess I'm in. It does seem like things may be getting a little better...yay! I can't tell if I'm just living with it better or if I'm actually feeling better. I still have zero energy and get super sick at night but mornings and afternoons are getting better. At 11 weeks now, I'm hoping things clear up sooner than they did with Eli..which took until a good 16 weeks to get feeling %100.
I do, however, have another strange problem that maybe someone out there can help me with. When I was in labor with Eli I remember feeling the most intense brunt of the pain in my right hip. It was a searing deep pain that wouldn't go away during the contractions. Now pregnant again, I've started getting pain in the same joint. It's so bad that I wake up two or three times a night in intense pain that won't go away. I haven't taken anything for it, mostly because I'm pumping myself so full of Zofran right now I hesitate to add any more chemicals to the mix, but I really need to find a solution. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have to limp around for a few hours because of the pain. Could it just be the baby is getting bigger? I don't remember this little jewel with Eli at the beginning.
That is my whining for the day. Other than the constant reminders of baby, life is going very well for us. Eli is the funniest little thing. I can't get enough of him...unless I've had too much of him...in the which case Dan takes him for a walk.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
A Few of My Favorite Things
I've been so caught up in myself lately what with all this being sick and what-not that I really need to spend some times focusing on the good things in my life. Last night Dan asked me how I was feeling and it hit me that even though I may temporarily feel like crap, I am so blessed with so many things health and life related. Here is a short list of all the things I am thankful for right now, in no particular order.
*I have the best husband in the world. He really has shown his true colors these last few weeks with me being down and out. He cleans, cooks, changes diapers, and most of all takes care of me with so much love and thoughtfulness that I quite often feel very undeserving.
*Eli is a stellar kid. He is the bright spot in every day. I can't get over how independent and smart he is! Each new day brings a new trick, a new skill, or a new word. Man I love that little guy.
*I am thankful for a wonderful place to live. We really do have it good here. We have a great back yard, a lot of usable space inside, and good neighbors.
*I have been so amazed lately to find out once again that I really do have the best friends in the whole world. These last few weeks we have received so much service, so many calls, and so much love. Good friends are what make living in Utah County so much more tolerable for me.
*My faith. Yesterday I was unable to attend church and Dan had our home teachers come over and bless the sacrament for me. I am so very grateful that I have the power of the Priesthood in my home. I feel it daily. I am thankful for my Savior who bore all trials and knows all suffering. I am thankful for inspired church leaders who continue to give poignant and needed counsel. I love the peace the gospel brings into my life. I love the comfort of the Holy Ghost. And I love that I can be with my family for eternity.
*Last, I am grateful for my parents. They are so dear to me. Last week they came down and spent all morning taking care of Eli and cleaning the house. I constantly amazed at how much energy and love they share with all their children. Life is so much better when they are around.
That was mostly an exercise in pulling my head out of my shirt and seeing how much good there is in my life. I have so many blessings. So much love in my life. Now onward and upward to happier times and calmer tummies.
*I have the best husband in the world. He really has shown his true colors these last few weeks with me being down and out. He cleans, cooks, changes diapers, and most of all takes care of me with so much love and thoughtfulness that I quite often feel very undeserving.
*Eli is a stellar kid. He is the bright spot in every day. I can't get over how independent and smart he is! Each new day brings a new trick, a new skill, or a new word. Man I love that little guy.
*I am thankful for a wonderful place to live. We really do have it good here. We have a great back yard, a lot of usable space inside, and good neighbors.
*I have been so amazed lately to find out once again that I really do have the best friends in the whole world. These last few weeks we have received so much service, so many calls, and so much love. Good friends are what make living in Utah County so much more tolerable for me.
*My faith. Yesterday I was unable to attend church and Dan had our home teachers come over and bless the sacrament for me. I am so very grateful that I have the power of the Priesthood in my home. I feel it daily. I am thankful for my Savior who bore all trials and knows all suffering. I am thankful for inspired church leaders who continue to give poignant and needed counsel. I love the peace the gospel brings into my life. I love the comfort of the Holy Ghost. And I love that I can be with my family for eternity.
*Last, I am grateful for my parents. They are so dear to me. Last week they came down and spent all morning taking care of Eli and cleaning the house. I constantly amazed at how much energy and love they share with all their children. Life is so much better when they are around.
That was mostly an exercise in pulling my head out of my shirt and seeing how much good there is in my life. I have so many blessings. So much love in my life. Now onward and upward to happier times and calmer tummies.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Whining.
Cat's out of the bag. I'm with baby. Bun in the oven. All that. I am not, remarkably, handling this one well. I know I am not a tough woman. I cry when Eli gets hurt, I tear up at stupid movies, I voted for Nader once, but this whole pregnancy dealy has brought out a level of wimpiness I did not know I possessed.
Eli was a hard pregnancy. I remember being sick, I remember certain instances of close calls and feeling icky. But I do NOT remember it being this bad. In one week I have lost 7 pounds and counting. I've already had to go get an IV once and will probably have to go again soon. Every day is a massive challenge. I can't get out of bed, usually puke once or twice when I do, and have a hard time even getting off the couch when I finally make it into the living room.
All this would suck, but what I feel the worst about is how much I feel I am not giving to Eli right now. He's such an independent little guy that I can lay around and he pretty much does his own thing. I feel sometimes that the only time I interact with him is when he does something nefarious. I need to figure out a way to really interact with Eli while I'm down and out. It's hard because he isn't really a lap sitter or a cuddler. Mostly we watch Sesame Street and he plays around the house by himself.
Oh well. I guess three or four months of a dead beat mommy can't scar him for life, can it?
Eli was a hard pregnancy. I remember being sick, I remember certain instances of close calls and feeling icky. But I do NOT remember it being this bad. In one week I have lost 7 pounds and counting. I've already had to go get an IV once and will probably have to go again soon. Every day is a massive challenge. I can't get out of bed, usually puke once or twice when I do, and have a hard time even getting off the couch when I finally make it into the living room.
All this would suck, but what I feel the worst about is how much I feel I am not giving to Eli right now. He's such an independent little guy that I can lay around and he pretty much does his own thing. I feel sometimes that the only time I interact with him is when he does something nefarious. I need to figure out a way to really interact with Eli while I'm down and out. It's hard because he isn't really a lap sitter or a cuddler. Mostly we watch Sesame Street and he plays around the house by himself.
Oh well. I guess three or four months of a dead beat mommy can't scar him for life, can it?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
On Mothers
****I wrote this post about a week ago but hesitated posting it because I thought it sounded self-serving. Then I realized that my mother's entire life has been spent serving her children...so there's no way to write about her without writing about my own life. Also, I can't find a good picture of her...will find one later.***
There hasn't been a good decision I've made in my life that wasn't the direct or indirect result of something my mother taught me. For any of you who have met my mom, and I pity those who haven't, you know she is indeed the most mothering, nurturing, caring and loving woman you will ever meet. I was fortunate enough to be born at the end of my family, and therefore had a lot of one on one time with my mom over the years that I cherish now more than ever. As this Mother's Day approaches, I pay a brief recap of the lessons my mom taught me through the years.
My mom taught me, when I was in elementary school, to learn how to fight my own battles. I remember coming home on a few occasions seething because something another student or a teacher had said. My mom would always listen, and offer counsel, but she would never intervene. She taught me that I needed to stand up for myself, but also to consider where other people were coming from.
In jr. high I started having problems with the church. I rebelled in the usual ways, ditching seminary, hooking up with dubious youths, talking on the phone at all hours. My mom was very patient, never yelled, and just loved me. I knew I could tell her things, even when I was sure she wouldn't like what I had to say. She was the driving force for me when it came to rebuilding my testimony. I remember hearing her pray for me and my siblings, seeing her love of the scriptures and the gospel, and the reverent way she always spoke of the Savior. This drew me closer to the Spirit and eventually led to my reactivation.
In high school my mom was there on the front row for all my choir concerts and plays. She murmured not as she watched some of her favorite clothes walk out the door to get used as play props...some never to return. She drove me to early morning diving practice and reminded me that modesty was always the best choice. She sewed costumes, attended young women activities, and baked cookies for my gaggle of cohorts. I guessed that secretly my friends wished she could be their mom.
As I headed off to college I took my mom with me, at heart. My first few years I went home almost every weekend. All I wanted was to sit at the kitchen table and talk to my mom about all that had happened that week. My mom was always available. She was always ready to talk. I told her about boys I was dating (not all the juicy details...she was still my mom...) and about classes I was taking. She listened, offered advice, and followed up on past counsel. She was truly my greatest ally.
The first letter I received in the MTC was from my mom. It made my very sad and lonely day so much better. I struggled in the MTC but my mother's comforting and motivating words through her letters kept me going. She wrote every week, and quite often it was the only letter I got. I read some of those letters a while ago. She was always so positive, so reassuring.
Now that I'm married and have a little guy, my mother's advice and counsel has become all the more valuable. I'm often amazed at how someone 42 years older than me can offer such contemporary and relevant input. She knows what I'm going through usually before I do. Recently she called me and said, "Roby, I couldn't sleep last night because I was worried about what you will do if you get pregnant and have Eli running around. That sounds like too much." After all these years, her children still keep her up at night.
My mother is a mother through and through. The years of advice and counsel have been invaluable, but I've learned more in what she has done than what she has said. I've watched her take food to sick neighbors when she herself has struggled with health problems for years. She taught me through example that when a person loses a loved one they like to talk about it, and need people to listen. She has loved those who are hard to love, cared for the difficult, and reached out to those who most have turned away.
This Mother's Day, I pay tribute to my mom, and to all the other women who have influenced my life. Thank you all for being examples to me. Thank you for listening, for talking, and for being friends, sisters, sisters-in-law, nieces, aunts, cousins, and most of all, for teaching me how to be a better woman and mother myself. Happy Mother's Day. You deserve it.
There hasn't been a good decision I've made in my life that wasn't the direct or indirect result of something my mother taught me. For any of you who have met my mom, and I pity those who haven't, you know she is indeed the most mothering, nurturing, caring and loving woman you will ever meet. I was fortunate enough to be born at the end of my family, and therefore had a lot of one on one time with my mom over the years that I cherish now more than ever. As this Mother's Day approaches, I pay a brief recap of the lessons my mom taught me through the years.
My mom taught me, when I was in elementary school, to learn how to fight my own battles. I remember coming home on a few occasions seething because something another student or a teacher had said. My mom would always listen, and offer counsel, but she would never intervene. She taught me that I needed to stand up for myself, but also to consider where other people were coming from.
In jr. high I started having problems with the church. I rebelled in the usual ways, ditching seminary, hooking up with dubious youths, talking on the phone at all hours. My mom was very patient, never yelled, and just loved me. I knew I could tell her things, even when I was sure she wouldn't like what I had to say. She was the driving force for me when it came to rebuilding my testimony. I remember hearing her pray for me and my siblings, seeing her love of the scriptures and the gospel, and the reverent way she always spoke of the Savior. This drew me closer to the Spirit and eventually led to my reactivation.
In high school my mom was there on the front row for all my choir concerts and plays. She murmured not as she watched some of her favorite clothes walk out the door to get used as play props...some never to return. She drove me to early morning diving practice and reminded me that modesty was always the best choice. She sewed costumes, attended young women activities, and baked cookies for my gaggle of cohorts. I guessed that secretly my friends wished she could be their mom.
As I headed off to college I took my mom with me, at heart. My first few years I went home almost every weekend. All I wanted was to sit at the kitchen table and talk to my mom about all that had happened that week. My mom was always available. She was always ready to talk. I told her about boys I was dating (not all the juicy details...she was still my mom...) and about classes I was taking. She listened, offered advice, and followed up on past counsel. She was truly my greatest ally.
The first letter I received in the MTC was from my mom. It made my very sad and lonely day so much better. I struggled in the MTC but my mother's comforting and motivating words through her letters kept me going. She wrote every week, and quite often it was the only letter I got. I read some of those letters a while ago. She was always so positive, so reassuring.
Now that I'm married and have a little guy, my mother's advice and counsel has become all the more valuable. I'm often amazed at how someone 42 years older than me can offer such contemporary and relevant input. She knows what I'm going through usually before I do. Recently she called me and said, "Roby, I couldn't sleep last night because I was worried about what you will do if you get pregnant and have Eli running around. That sounds like too much." After all these years, her children still keep her up at night.
My mother is a mother through and through. The years of advice and counsel have been invaluable, but I've learned more in what she has done than what she has said. I've watched her take food to sick neighbors when she herself has struggled with health problems for years. She taught me through example that when a person loses a loved one they like to talk about it, and need people to listen. She has loved those who are hard to love, cared for the difficult, and reached out to those who most have turned away.
This Mother's Day, I pay tribute to my mom, and to all the other women who have influenced my life. Thank you all for being examples to me. Thank you for listening, for talking, and for being friends, sisters, sisters-in-law, nieces, aunts, cousins, and most of all, for teaching me how to be a better woman and mother myself. Happy Mother's Day. You deserve it.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Bookshelves!
Last week I went to the Bijou Market with some friends. I saw lots of cute stuff, some I thought I could reproduce and much I knew I never would. One item that really caught my eye was this little bookshelf some clever person had come up with. When I say bookshelf...I mean book-shelf. The shelf was a book. See? Clever.
I thought "Hey, I can do that!" and home I marched with ideas a-burstin. Two days, later, after a trip to D.I and a little jaunt to Lowes I had all I needed to make my own shelves. Here are some pics of how they turned out:
I really like how they look. All you need are some old, cool looking books, a little clear-drying glue, and some L-mounts. I used pages from an old children's book to cover the bottom of the mounts (using the glue).The whole process took me about an hour. I didn't fix the books on the mounts yet...so yes, they are just balancing there precariously, but I just couldn't bare to put glue or nails on such gorgeous books.
Fun fun fun!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
California Dreaming
Our old house.
Before there was Utah, there was California. I was born in Ojai, a little burg about 2 hours north of L.A. I don't know if it's having a little soul around that reminds me of being a young'un, or if I have just been missing the warm weather, but California has been on my mind lately. Not Cali now...but Cali then.
When I was born most of my siblings were grown and out of the house. A few of the older ones still hung about, but pretty much it was just my sister Cristy, my brother Jeff, and little me. We lived on an acre of farmy-type land, with a big barn full of chickens and bunnies and a massive Eden-esque garden tended to lovingly by my mother.
Below is a pic of me and my first K-9 crony, Buddy, playing in our driveway.
Most of my memories of Ojai involve being outside. It seems like the weather was always nice, and we were always playing outdoors. Dan has often remarked that I hold a sort of ephemeral longing for Ojai that may not be based on reality...meaning...my memories of the place may be superimposed over it's actual glory...but I doubt that...
Ojai at dusk.
Here's one of us eating dinner at our old table. It was quite the set-up; a large round slab of wood resting slightly precariously on an old barrel. If you pushed too hard on any one end, you got a quick glance at the opposing side's dishes before the whole thing went toppling over. I think my folks still have this stowed away somewhere at their new place...I would like to see about inheriting it...but only when I have a much larger house to keep it in.
Sometimes we can get lost in remembering times that will never come again. I know being a kid again will never happen for me. But I can give my little one a childhood that is just as good, if not better, and let him create memories he can look back on later with great affection. Eli may not have any California dreams, but hopefully he will have fondness for the outdoor life he'll able to enjoy wherever we plant our family roots.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Washing Day
Its me again! Look at me, posting and such.
Eli has, of late, become fascinated with our washing machine. Its a front loading dealy, kind of a cheapy, and super loud. He sits and watches it spin and thinks its about the coolest thing in the world. The problem is, the door is right at his eye level, and as such he uses it as his personal toy storage box.
Two days I had just started a load when I noticed something odd pushing itself up against the door of the machine. It was a book, a really fantastic children's book I bought Eli before he was born. It's toast now. I haven't had the heart to throw it again, so it just sits and looks at me, warped and wilted, on my kitchen table.
Ten minutes ago I started another load of laundry. This time, I noticed his pair of snow boots moving back and forth against the door. I am not stopping the load. They can use a washing, and I don't have the where-with-all to get them out at this point. Lesson: check before starting the load.
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