Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Cat's out of the bag. I'm with baby. Bun in the oven. All that. I am not, remarkably, handling this one well. I know I am not a tough woman. I cry when Eli gets hurt, I tear up at stupid movies, I voted for Nader once, but this whole pregnancy dealy has brought out a level of wimpiness I did not know I possessed.

Eli was a hard pregnancy. I remember being sick, I remember certain instances of close calls and feeling icky. But I do NOT remember it being this bad. In one week I have lost 7 pounds and counting. I've already had to go get an IV once and will probably have to go again soon. Every day is a massive challenge. I can't get out of bed, usually puke once or twice when I do, and have a hard time even getting off the couch when I finally make it into the living room.

All this would suck, but what I feel the worst about is how much I feel I am not giving to Eli right now. He's such an independent little guy that I can lay around and he pretty much does his own thing. I feel sometimes that the only time I interact with him is when he does something nefarious. I need to figure out a way to really interact with Eli while I'm down and out. It's hard because he isn't really a lap sitter or a cuddler. Mostly we watch Sesame Street and he plays around the house by himself.

Oh well. I guess three or four months of a dead beat mommy can't scar him for life, can it?


  1. my aunt had terrible pregnancies. many, many, i.v.s, lying on the couch the whole time, having children bring her a diaper and draping herself over the side of the couch to change it.

    and she did it nine times (what!?!)

    but, all of this is to say that her children (all nine of them) turned out really well. i mean, exceptional members of society.

    despite several months of neglect for several pregnancies.

    eli will be just fine. don't add that to your list of worries.

  2. Never again will he have you just to himself. You can watch him play, read him books and just be there for him. I call that one lucky little boy!