Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Some Kid's People


I hate when things online get me all ruffled up. I have to save whatever patience God gives me for dealing with my sweet little albatross. Being mad at people whom I've never met is a waste of my time and is more like beating my head against a wall than having any sort of meaningful adult interacting, which is why I think subconsciously I do it...

Anyway, yesterday the AAP published a study about male circumcision in infant boys. I thought "interesting, good info". And that was about it. We have chosen to circumcise our boys. It was a personal and very informed decision based on research, love, and preference. On the other hand, I don't think anything malicious of people who choose not to do it. This is one of those instances where the data is split and it comes down to your own desires for your own kids.

However...people seem to care A LOT about this issue. People who don't have kids seem to care A LOT about this issue. People who have never had to make the decision want to yell and scream and accuse you of doing all sorts of nefarious and completely horrendous things to you kids. People make you want to cry. People on this website even accuse you of rape (read the comments...).

Here's what I say about it. By popular kid trends I've failed. Eli is an induced labor, epiduraled, formula fed, vaccinated, circumcised, tv and sugar infused everyday ruff and tumble kid. Sammy was an epiduraled, c-section (oh the horror!), formula fed, vaccinated, already has watched tv in his 8 months of life(d) roly poly baby. I've really screwed up. According to tredy baby rhetoric, all of those things equals one heck of a messed up kid.

But here's the deal. None of it matters. Do you know what does matter? What will have a lasting and profound effect on kids? It's not the presence of a few cubic centimeters of skin, or the absence of breastmilk, or whatever kinds of pain meds the mom chose to use during labor. What matters is LOVE.

I know that sounds like a Beattles song. But really, all that matters in your children's lives in love. Last night Eli woke up at 11:30 with a high fever and was throwing up. Dan and I spent two hours cleaning him up, getting him medication, cuddling him and making sure he was comfortable. Sammy woke up at 6am and I was up making sure he was feeling ok, was fed, dry, and happy.

Being a mom has very little to do with how we get our kids here or what scientifically neutral procedures we choose to have done for them. What being a good parent entails is loving, nurturing, and caring for the emotional and temporal needs of these little souls who have been given to us. It means getting down on the ground and playing cars with a roudy 3 years old (even when Mom's back hurts so so bad). It means getting up at 4am to feed a baby. It means driving to the beach, the park, the dino museum, the zoo, the whatever will make your kids happy and engaged.

I know I'm preaching to the choir. I just get so mad when I hear how caustic people can be towards another person's decisions. There are issues that need attention...like people choosing not to vaccinate their children, because that is destructive and uneducated and there is NO science to back it up. Circumcision though, like epidurals and breastmilk and c-sections are things parents have to choose based on the medical data and their own hopes for their own kids.