**********
Smoke Rises
I sit low, on the ground
I hear anger rises, like smoke
so I stay down low
My mind breaks for the 5th time
in at least as many hours
I remember that first second
a small head on my wet chest
lifted up, gazing around
I loved you intensely,
saw fire in your tiny eyes
first jolting steps propelled you up
no longer needing a mother’s hand
heading towards perpetual motion
never stopped since
little legs, small feet
so much movement for such a quaint frame
independent, head up and eyes flared
small hands creating so much chaos
my feet take a million steps before 9
and still you run and run and run
I sit in tears and you pat my head
I dreamed you here
wanted you so bad
I stand in constant amazement at your presence
but here I sit, low and exhausted
you sleep above me
I can almost hear the rhythm of your lungs
The beast of rage that so often kicks against its cage
has once again been silenced and shut up
everyday is a fight, but like a rough stone in water
I feel worn down yet somehow smoother
I get lost in the routine, but today, I stopped
I looked at your curls
at your fire-eyes and at your smile
and I felt, so authentically,
the reality of your existence in mine
So I take my break and recharge my brain
thank heavens for bedtime, time out, and
mostly
thanks heavens for my little boy
I hear anger rises, like smoke
so I stay down low
My mind breaks for the 5th time
in at least as many hours
I remember that first second
a small head on my wet chest
lifted up, gazing around
I loved you intensely,
saw fire in your tiny eyes
first jolting steps propelled you up
no longer needing a mother’s hand
heading towards perpetual motion
never stopped since
little legs, small feet
so much movement for such a quaint frame
independent, head up and eyes flared
small hands creating so much chaos
my feet take a million steps before 9
and still you run and run and run
I sit in tears and you pat my head
I dreamed you here
wanted you so bad
I stand in constant amazement at your presence
but here I sit, low and exhausted
you sleep above me
I can almost hear the rhythm of your lungs
The beast of rage that so often kicks against its cage
has once again been silenced and shut up
everyday is a fight, but like a rough stone in water
I feel worn down yet somehow smoother
I get lost in the routine, but today, I stopped
I looked at your curls
at your fire-eyes and at your smile
and I felt, so authentically,
the reality of your existence in mine
So I take my break and recharge my brain
thank heavens for bedtime, time out, and
mostly
thanks heavens for my little boy
That's pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm way too intimidated to join your club.