Dog Etiquette

We have a dog, for the lucky two of you who may not know. Come this March Indi will have survived 4 years in our house (by the grace of something). Dan and I have worked harder with this dog to teach her some sort of sanity than I have worked on almost any other ongoing project in my life. She's made leaps and bounds from where she once was, she's still a lunatic, but we kinda love her. Her tenure in our house has come into questions a few times but...well...we never could find a new home for her for I think she's here to stay...for now (I like to keep my options open).

With all that said, I've learned a thing or two over the years about how other people react to dogs. Nowhere is this more apparent than in public places where kids are around. A few weeks ago I had Indi with me at the Farmer's Market in Provo and a little boy (about 4?) came running up to her and started pulling on her ears and trying to give her a hug. Indi was on a leash sitting right next to me. After a sec she snapped menacingly at the boy. No contact was made but it scared me to death. Apart from the trauma of having her bite an unknown kid, I wouldn't want to face the probable legal issues of such an occurrence.

Since then I have been very wary to take Indi out in public. A few days ago I decided this poor dog had to get out of the house so we've been walking to the park. I ALWAYS keep her on her leash at the park right by my side. I never leave her unattended and make sure I know what's happening with her at all times.

Today I was sitting on a bench while Eli played and Indi was laying right by my feet. A little girl came running up to us and started petting Indi and grabbing at her fur. I asked the little girl to please not touch my dog but she kept petting her. Indi is generally pretty good with kids and wasn't doing much but I didn't want to take any chances. I stood up and walked over to another bench. The little girl followed and would not leave us alone. I finally spotted her mother sitting on the grass watching all this happen. As I tried to fend off the kid I just got fed up and grabbed Eli and we headed home.

That got me to thinking. Dog owners have a responsibility to keep their dogs under control in public no doubt. BUT. The public has a keen responsibility to know how to interact with dogs they don't know. And parents most definitely have a responsibility to teach their kids how to treat a strange dog. So-here's my list of dog etiquette for parents with kids.

• Teach your kids to NEVER approach a leashed or unleashed dog unless they directly ask the dog owner for permission. NEVER.
• Have the child extend his or her hand to let the dog smell it. This is like a hand shake for dogs.
• Teach your kids the appropriate ways to handle a dog ...ie don't let them pull fur, tails, or ears, even if the dog owner says the dog is ok with it. It leads to bad habits and they may find a dog sometime that isn't as amiable.
• If a dog owner asks your child at any time to stop petting the dog or move away make sure they know to listen and act.
• Above all teach your kids to respect dogs and treat them with care and caution.

If a dog bites a kid in public is is, of course, the dog owner's responsibility, but having a child who is well trained around dogs makes things easier for everyone.

Milk of Human Smugness

Dear Midwife,

I understand you have to talk to many women every day about all sorts of things, and that your answers have become a bit rote. When I told you yesterday that I had a really hard time nursing my son and would like some good suggestions on how to make things easier for this next one, I didn't really need to ten minute thesis on how superior breast milk is to formula. I didn't need to hear for the umteenth time how many nan-nuero-super connectors breast milk has in it and how if a baby is able to get just a taste of that milky goodness he or she is destined for life long greatness.

I've already heard it all from the internet, friends, family, strangers, and my own inner guilt voice. I know I should have tried harder, as you implied, to nurse my son more diligently. I should have forced him to nurse even when he was screaming because he was hungry and getting nothing from my breastables. I should have forced myself to stay up longer at night to make sure I pumped every drip of milk out of my sleep deprived body I could find. I should never have started him on formula, never given him a bottle, and definitely never given up on nursing even when we were both so exhausted we spent every non-nursing minute crying.

Here's the real scoop. If a woman can't/isn't nursing her child chances are she's tried everything in her power to make an attempt first. I've heard of very few women who choose voluntarily to not breastfeed. For them I'm sure it was a very personal decision also and I'm sure their babies are fine. For me I was physically unable to produce enough nourishment for my child. With baby #2 I want to give it the ol' college try for sure but what I most definitely do not need are any more lectures on how superior breast milk is. I get it. We would never tell a mother with a kid in in a wheel chair, "Oh, walking is so much better than sitting around all day. You really should let your son get up and move around". So why all the guilt about nursing?

That is my rant.

Signed-

To Each His Own

Groceries Shmoceries

Eli falls out of the grocery cart: lecture from a Macy's bagger on using the straps (but sir all of the straps in pretty much all of the carts are broken).

I get in the express lane with about 100 things in my cart on accident: lecture from an old man on proper express lane etiquette (but sir my son was screaming and I didn't notice what lane I got in...see above on cart falling out of.)

I set Eli down for a sec to load some of the groceries on the belt and he takes off running: nasty glares from all other mothers in the store who are probably thinking I am incompetent and crazy as I go tearing through the store yelling in my best Walmart voice.

I told Dan I will not be taking Eli to the grocery store again unless I can find a pet carrier for him...you know...like the ones the rich ladies use to haul their chihuahuas through the airport in?

Motherhood

Here's a link to a great video clip from Elder Holland from our church. I watch it whenever I'm feeling like a failure and it always makes feel so much better. I am so grateful for the chance I have to be a mom. My little guy is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, save meeting his father. I can't wait to meet our new addidition in a few months and start another relationship with such a special little soul.

My Princess List

I just realized that I'm a bit spoiled. I have an amazing husband, a great kid, a...dog...and life is very good. Sitting here on the couch while Eli naps, sipping an ice water and reading an obligatory NY Times article on the budget crisis, it suddenly hit me just how lucky I really am. And with all the good fortune, I starting thinking about the things I have in my life that would be very hard to give up. I'm not talking about family or religion or anything that really matters. I mean the niceties I am blessed with that I don't think I would ever want to part with. Here's a list.

-indoor A/C.
-a fabulously jungle-like back yard
-2 cars
-3 bedrooms
-our king size bed (I would give up my washer and dryer before my bed)
-car A/C (of which one of our cars is lacking at the moment...making it so much more of a priority)
-a pool pass
-a Costco membership
-a wheat grinder
-2 bathrooms
-close proximity to an Ikea, a Costco, a Target, and a TJ Maxx

That's about it. These are all things I could live without if forced to do so...but I really like my upper lower middle class American lifestyle. If we ever have to pull a handcart back to Missouri I'm going to have to get a double wide...man that bed is going to be a beast to get through the mountains.

Con Troll

Hm. I may have just experienced what the kids these days call an 'epiphany'...or at least a slight kick to the frontal lobe that has me thinking about things.

I was recently reading a friend's blog post on the birth of her new baby girl. She talked about their birth plan, which was incredibly detailed and specific. I felt a momentary twinge of guilt. When I was pregnant with Eli I never once even thought about a birth plan or course of action when labor hit. I knew I wanted drugs, I knew I was going to be in a hospital, but that is about where it ended.

Pondering on this I thought maybe it's because I'm ok with things being out of my control. That's not to say that people who make detailed plans and have very specific expectations for things are control freaks or any other pejorative phrase. I greatly respect those in my circle who are detail oriented. I just have never been like that. I seem to thrive when a a bit of chaos is present. Not too much, mind you, but just a little.

I think that's one reason epidurals and pain medication makes so much sense to me when thinking about labor. I don't have to plan anything really. I can leave it up to someone else to get things going and get the pain managed. It's probably also why I really do get a bit of a rush flying standby when I travel. I never really know what is going to happen but the decision on whether I go or not is left to a system, not to me. It's as close to gambling as a little Mormon girl like me can get.

I do love organization, don't get me wrong, but I also enjoy situations that are unplanned and unpredictable. I probably will never have a detailed birth plan when I have a baby because there are so many thousands of variables that come up I just would rather let things happen and go from there. I will probably never be the type of mom who can manage to remember every single item needed for a successful trip to the pool, beach, park, ect. (mostly because I am so scatterbrained) but at least we go, right?

Re-reading what I wrote here this all sounds like self justification for disorganization. Let me just sum up by saying I do believe very strongly in plans and forethought, but I also love when things go differently (in most situations) and life takes me by surprise. Ugh. Now I just sound like Oprah.

Harvest

I'm laying in bed resting while Eli naps. I'm not quite tired enough to sleep, so I thought I'd put some thoughts I've been having lately in writing.

I have a little garden in the back yard. It's small, just a few tomato bushes and a sprawling zucchini plant, but it has been a lot of fun taking care of it thus far. Last week I was out pulling some weeds and I noticed four or five little green tomatoes poking out from the screen of green leaves. I was thrilled! To be honest...I sort of forgot that what I was working for; actual harvest.

That made me think about the relationships I have in my life. I think sometimes I treat life a lot like I treat my garden. I work really hard on the maintenance parts of things, the diaper changing, the counter wiping, the budgeting and church duties, that I forget that I get to harvest at some point.

Let me put this in perspective. Eli is a lot of work. I could spend all day (and have) tending to my Eli garden, just doing the necessary things to keep him alive. Many times I have to remind myself that I need to harvest. I need to sit down with him, play a game, go to the park, or just give him a hug. There's no sense in having a garden if you don't ever gather the fruit!

This analogy may seem corny (no pun intended!) but I really do think I forget so often that life is meant to be more than just a series of weeding, watering, and pruning. We are meant to harvest! Sometimes the harvest comes later, and the maintenance is essential, but the fruit can be so sweet.

Those are my ramblings for today.